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mander3_swish
FROM:wren_kt7oz
TITLE: 7 Kinds of Sex You Have with the Guy You Fuck More Than Once
REQUEST: Fic. fluff/schmoop, angst, canon-compliant, humor, sexy fun times, porn without plot "6 Kinds Of Sex You Have When You're In A Committed Relationship. https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/6-ways-you-bang-when-dating/1028631" - feel free to change it up and have B/J change/make up own list ;) ---tricks and 3rd/4th parties are welcome but not required.
NOTE: Not at all sure this is what you were expecting, since there's not a lot of explicit sex, let alone PWP, but the different "prompts" triggered so many BJ memories, that I just went with the flow.
WARNING: Not really any warnings, although some of it might come as a surprise to anyone who hasn't read, or can't remember my "Joan Kinney: Died 23rd December 2016. RIP" story. All you really need to know that is that Justin has a son named Simon who is around 2 years old at the time of this story. (He donated sperm to a lesbian couple he met in New York. The ladies are a lot more civilized about the arrangement than Mel and Linds and enjoy having both Justin and Brian as part of their family.)
Justin fields the text from Daphne at around 3pm on a day when he's been working since dawn on a commission work for some rich widow who's apparently "incredibly important" because her family have been major donors for half the galleries in New York since the Dutch handed it over to the English however many fucking centuries ago. Okay, so it's winter; which means dawn didn't happen till around eight o'clock. And maybe he had coffee and a bagel first. But he'd been working for hours anyway on an "impressionistic view of how New York changes people". ("Because you're so sensitive and I know you'll capture the spirit of the opportunities that this city presents"). (Translation: I know you'll paint something that represents the opportunities that being patronized by people like me provide to young artists like you.)
He's not in the best of moods, even if the damned painting is going to net him something in the high five figure range. And even if the painting is actually about his real "opportunity of a lifetime", like he'd told Lindsay before he'd left that opportunity behind to come to New York in the first place.
Daphne, however, is at her most bubbly. It comes through even in the text. So you have to check this list out because I think that maybe Dev and I have done just about all of these, so I guess we really are kind of 'long term' now… maybe we could even be called like committed. What do you think? Have you and Brian done all these?
Daphne's been seeing Devron for around four months now, which is definitely a long term committed relationship in her terms. Her previous longest was less than four weeks.
He sighs. He knows that if he ignores the text she'll keep after him till he responds; which means he has to check out the link she's included. At least, he does if he wants to maintain any kind of sanity.
He might as well do it now while he grabs something to eat. Then he can get back to his painting.
https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/6-ways-you-bang-when-dating/1028631
Sex is such a diverse thing; there’s no right way to have it and no one way that everyone is doing it.
It’s different every time you partake, and I think that’s what’s so wonderful about it.
Even when you’re in a relationship, the sex is not the same all the time.
Even if you’re with someone forever, the sex doesn’t stay the same.
It grows and changes along with your relationship and you. It surprises you with something new around every corner.
While there are probably a billion ways to have sex, here are six different ways you have sex when you have the same partner for a long time:
The intro makes him cringe a little. It's so damned hetero. "Different every time you partake". He can imagine Brian's snort of derision if he read that and hears in his head "In and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit".
The 'sex is different every time' mantra doesn't really take into account having multiple non-repeat sex partners. Because, for him at least, that does become more than a little repetitive. The lead up might be different, but after a while an ass is an ass, a cock is a cock; rod A into hole B. Even blow jobs can pretty much be divided into 'talented', 'mediocre' and 'hopeless'. Very few stand out or are even remembered after a while.
He sits down with a warmed over bagel, smothered in cream cheese, a handful grapes, a lemon bar (Brian … or more probably Cynthia, although Brian will happily take the credit … long ago organized to keep him supplied with these and he still enjoys them, especially when he's stressed) and pretty much a whole pot of coffee in the gigantic travel mug that he uses in his studio. Taking a bite of the bagel he looks at the first example on the list.
1. Like you’ve never had sex before.
And of course, at first, you haven’t. Not with this new person, in this new way. There’s a time when it’s so new, it’s pretty much the most incredible thing in the entire world.
It’s not just the first time it happens either; the first few — the first dozen times even — times are awe-inspiring.
For a brief period of time, it’s like this is the first naked body you’ve ever seen and my God, is it glorious.
You discover something new around every curve, in every shadow cast on skin, and nothing has ever been more fulfilling.
That gives him pause for thought. He's only had two relationships that could be considered long term. His first time with Brian was … well, his first time. So that hardly fell into this category.
He tries to remember if it felt like that with Ethan – if sex with Ethan felt like he'd never had sex before - and came to the conclusion that it fell a long way short of that. It was sometimes exciting – at least at the beginning. But that was more a 'forbidden fruit' kind of excitement that faded away pretty quickly after the Babylon party and its sad and sorry aftermath. It definitely wasn't anything like 'awe-inspiring' or 'the most incredible thing in the entire world'.
Of course, part of that was down to the fact that Brian had been pretty much prophetic when he'd told Justin that first time that ''I'll always be there". In its most romantic, forbidden-love moments, sex with Ethan had always been doomed to pale in comparison to the master class he'd received that first night with Brian. There hadn't been a decent fag's chance of voting Trump that he'd ever have found that there was 'nothing more fulfilling' than sex with Ethan; no matter what he'd told himself at the time.
So that's probably a 'no' as far as Daph's question is concerned.
But then a memory chimes in his brain: a voice – was it his or Brian's? - saying "Like the first time".
That night had been something new. Definitely new for him, and, he's always suspected, for Brian too. That night they'd made love, not just fucked. He'd never felt safer or more loved in his life than he had the night Brian drove out fear and pain and despair with the heat of his cock and the warmth of his caring. And, after the long aching months of loneliness and isolation and fearing to be touched, that love-making or fuck or whatever had very definitely felt like 'the most incredible thing in the entire world'.
Scratching his head, Justin wonders if that makes #1 on the list a 'yes' or 'no' for Daphne.
He chews another bite of bagel and goes on to the second item.
2. You plan to, and then you don’t.
Maybe it’s the last night you can spend together for a little while or maybe, it’s the first time in forever.
Regardless, it’s a special night, and so you make it that way.
You go to dinner, you go out, you talk forever, you throw all of your energy into the night and you couldn’t be happier about it.
When you get home, you’re exhausted, and you lie next to each other, contemplating having sex.
Maybe you’re basically in a food coma or maybe you’re so tired you can barely keep your eyes open. Probably both.
You fall asleep draped over each other, fully clothed and happier than you’ve ever been. You wake up the same way.
Not having sex has never felt so good.
On the face of it, this one is kind of hilarious. Saying that he and Brian 'plan' to have sex is a bit like saying the sun 'plans' to rise every day. And the whole 'going out to dinner as a preliminary to fucking' scenario is so irredeemably hetero that he has to restrain his own snort of derisive laughter.
Plus, there haven't been all that many occasions when he and Brian were too tired for sex. Well, there was that one episode way back in the day when he'd fallen asleep while Brian was getting ready to rim him, and he'd never been allowed to live that down, but still …
Okay. There was the time that Brian had flown into London at the last minute to attend the opening of his exhibition at Somerset House and had come to the exhibition straight from the airport. He'd been working God knows how many hours a day for weeks putting together a pitch for Ralph Lauren and Justin had been doing interviews for two days straight right up almost till the gallery opened its doors. They'd both been exhausted, but also incredibly horny so they'd taken the edge off with a quick fuck in the men's room, looking forward to a much more extensive session back at the hotel. But in the end, by the time they'd talked to the last fucking art critic and collected Brian's luggage from the cloak room that had been on the verge of closing, found a taxi and got Brian checked in to the hotel, they'd found the energy to take off their coats, pants and shoes, and then pretty much just collapsed onto the bed.
He remembered waking at some point in the night because Brian had been trying to pull the duvet out from under him. He'd rolled over enough let Brian re-position them under the duvet instead of on top of it and had somehow pulled off his shirt, but then he'd gone straight back to sleep. Given that Brian was still wearing his Lauren shirt the next morning (and bitching, of course, that it was totally ruined and would never be fit to wear again) he guessed Brian had done pretty much the same thing. They'd made up for it very satisfactorily, of course, for most of the next day but he supposes that night fell into the 'plan to and then don't' category.
But it certainly didn't qualify for the 'not having sex has never felt so good' angle. Not having sex when they'd been apart for more than a day or two had just felt like an opportunity missed as far as he'd been concerned. Thinking about it now, he figures it pretty much always does.
Well, except for when the kids have been with them of course.
They hadn't often had Gus for sleepovers when he was small enough to want to get into bed with them, but there had been a couple of times. And now there's Simon, and when he stays with them he's been known to beg his beloved Bi-Bi to let him sleep in their bed. Brian, being the total fucking sucker that he is, falls for it every time. So those times, when instead of finding ways and means for a quiet fuck, they climb into bed either side of the son Justin can still hardly believe he has, maybe reaching across that beloved little body to touch hands, or maybe twisting feet together, but that's all, and yet just lying there, they're both somehow content. Maybe more than content. He suspects that on those nights, more than most, they're both conscious of being happy. Justin supposes that on those nights not having sex really has never felt so good.
So that one's kind of a 'yes' although, since those times don't fall into the whole 'plan a night out followed by sex' pattern that the article presupposes, maybe it's really a 'no'.
Shit! This stuff is confusing. He's going to have to send Daph an email. He's never going to explain any of this in a text.
Bagel finished, he sips his coffee and goes on to # 3.
3. With passion that you’d forgotten.
The sex isn’t always the best thing you’ve ever had. Sometimes it’s just okay. You fall into a rut, having the same kind of sex in the same kind of way.
Then one day, completely by accident, you find the passion again.
You’re doing something silly or something that brings you closer, and suddenly without warning, you start having sex.
Then that suddenness, silliness and closeness jumpstarts the passion and reminds you, “Oh, hey. Here I am.”
You didn’t even realize it was gone; you’d simply forgotten that that level of passion can exist.
It always finds its way back, though. If the relationship is working, something always brings it back.
Okay. He tries to wrap his head around the whole 'having the same kind of sex in the same kind of way' deal.
He supposes that it's kind of true, up to a point. Except that it's more like 'having the same multiple kinds of sex in the same multiple kinds of ways'.
Blow jobs, hand jobs, frotting, Brian topping him, him topping Brian (more often than either one of them think anyone else needs to know about), face to face, doggy style, standing, lying down, bent over whatever piece of furniture happens to be around at the time … sex with them has never been exactly vanilla in the way that the article makes it sound like for hetero couples. But sure, there are times when it's less soul-shattering than others. Times when, even with them, it's more about getting off than about making the fucking earth move or whatever.
But he wouldn't say that there had ever been a point in their seventeen year relationship where either of them had 'forgotten that level of passion can exist'.
The only time, for him, had been when he'd been with Ethan and even then … he'd remembered, all too clearly, about that level of passion. He'd just convinced himself that other things were more important. Which, he reflects as he sips again at his coffee, is probably true, but those things – trust, fidelity, absolute, no holds barred true love – he hadn't found any of those things with Ethan either. He had them now. Had always had them, really, with Brian; even if he hadn't recognized or properly valued them back then. He did now though.
And, lucky son of a bitch that he was, he had all of those and enough fucking passion on a regular basis to light up the Eastern seaboard if anyone could figure out how to harness it.
He's not sure that there's ever been more than a week go by when just a glimpse of Brian – the turn of his head, the long elegant line of his neck, the slight sway of his hips, isn't enough to make his breath hitch. Sometimes, especially when they're apart for longer than a few days (like they are right now because Brian is visiting Kinnetik's satellite office in fucking Chicago and stroking the egos of their mid-West clients who occasionally demand the CEO's personal touch while he's stuck here in New York working on this damned commission) just the sound of Brian's voice is enough to make him feel like his cock is hard enough to drill through concrete.
So, yeah, sure, there are times when, for no particular reason, suddenly the energy just sizzles between them and they have to fuck; right then, right there – or at least as soon as they can find a spot where they won't get arrested for public indecency anyway.
He loves it when that happens. When suddenly Brian will make a grab at him, or he'll snag Brian's belt and they'll manhandle each other into the nearest restroom, or find themselves fucking on the landing outside their bedroom because they just can't wait long enough to make it to the bed.
So that's a definite 'yes'. Well, except for the 'forgotten that level of passion can exist' stuff. It's never long enough between for them to actually forget; so maybe it's a 'no' after all.
Shit! He really needs to get back to that damned painting.
He sends Daph a quick text to tell her that's he's looked at the article, and he'll send her an email later with his thoughts because there's too much for a text.
Then he heads back up to his studio on the top floor of the brownstone they bought last year so they could spend more time in New York to be near Simon and his mommies.
Later, after another few hours in his studio, followed by a quick phone sex session with Brian (probably squeezed in between meetings and taking "yet another demanding prima donna asshole of a client" out to dinner). Justin settles down with take out and a beer to go through the rest of Daph's list.
4. Lazily, over a long stretch of time.
Sometimes, there just isn’t any rush. You’re going to be together all night, all day and neither of you has any desire to be anywhere else.
Fingers linger a little longer. Movements become a little slower. There’s nothing frantic about this.
You know you can have it all for hours, and so you do, with breaks for food and naps and lazy, sleepy talking.
There are some days where you just want to stay in bed all day with the person you’re into, and so you do.
You’ll never regret all of the things you didn’t do that day. It was so worth it.
Well, okay! This one, Justin thinks, is a definite "yes".
There have been many "lost weekends" when they haven't moved out of the bed except to satisfy other physical necessities.
Although, he reflects, not all of them had felt all that 'leisured' at the time. Especially during the period when he'd first moved to New York. Then weekends – whether in his tiny room in a shared apartment or the huge bed in the loft – had felt … desperate, really. Sure, they'd stayed in bed and fucked all day (and most of the night) but it hadn't been because they had all the time they'd wanted, it had been because they'd been desperate to cram every moment together with touch and taste and smell and heat. To overload themselves with the sensations that not all their Skype sessions and graphic emails and middle of the day sex calls could duplicate.
He shakes off those memories. That time is over now. Now they live together in New York, or, during at least some of the summer, in the house that they bought on a lake in upstate PA. He'd paid half of the down payment on that, and all of the repayments since, a fact of which he was inordinately proud, and though it wasn't a mansion, it was big enough for them, Gus, Simon and Simon's moms to share during the summer when the heat and humidity in New York was just too much to handle. Even his Mom and Molly had been added at times and they'd somehow found enough room for everyone.
Of course, sometimes he and Brian have spent a few days there just by themselves, and those days definitely included a lot of lazing around in bed, lingering over each touch, each kiss; taking hours for just one fuck, just like #4 on the list described. So yeah. That one was a definite "yes".
Encouraged, he moved on to the next one.
5. Quickly, before work.
One person is completely dressed and ready, and then, all at once, he or she isn't again.
He or she was headed toward the door, and you kissed and suddenly, you’ve both regressed immensely in the whole getting dressed process.
It might make you late or it might mean you won’t have time for breakfast, but it’s worth it anyway — even if it’s quick. It just felt right.
You can always blame being late on the subway — that’s what public transportation and traffic are there for, after all.
Another definite "yes".
Sometimes they factored in the time they'd need to fuck in the morning, but sometimes their usual shower fuck wasn't enough and they'd be halfway through dressing when suddenly clothes were coming off instead of going on and then, afterwards, they'd need another shower and … well, sometimes they were beyond late. And if Brian would rather cancel the meeting than blame the (*label queen shudder*) subway, he could always blame peak hour traffic.
Of course, it didn't just happen in the mornings, or when they were about to leave for work. They could be getting ready to go clubbing, or to dinner or to lunch with his Mom. It was another example really of how sometimes the sexual energy between them just ignited. Hard to believe at those times they'd been together, more or less, for seventeen years now. Somehow the passion between them burned as hot as ever, and Justin couldn't quite identify the reason why. He knew that it didn't for most couples. He wasn't sure why they were different. Maybe it was just because Brian was still so damned hot. Or maybe it was that, after all they'd been through, they'd learned never to take what they had for granted.
Or maybe it was just because they were both so highly sexed to begin with. One night when everyone had had a few too many drinks Daphne had seen fit to share Justin's "I've seen the face of God and his name is Brian Kinney" reaction to his first night with Brian and Michael had responded with his own reminiscence about how Brian had said the next morning that Justin had almost worn him out.
Brian had denied it of course, but Justin figures it was probably true. He's always known that it was one of the reasons that Brian had kept him around in those early days – because his appetite for sex had rivaled Brian's own. Most of their friends had probably thought it was the only reason. But it wasn't then, and it isn't now. From the beginning, even allowing for Brian's reluctance to become involved in any way with anyone outside his tight little circle of friends, and Justin's inexperience and naïveté, they'd recognized some sort of kinship in the way they thought and the way they interacted with the world.
Both of them had … still have … low tolerance for bullshit, and they don’t suffer fools at all, let alone gladly. Both of them value honesty and personal integrity, even at the expense of making themselves or anyone else uncomfortable. And both of them are prepared to be in your face about who and what they are and if anyone doesn't like it they can go fuck themselves.
That last one had been a bit of a challenge for Justin at first. But meeting Brian and being outed at school in such a dramatic fashion that first morning had forced him to decide whether he was going to go back into his shell or to take on the world. That he'd chosen to stand proud had had a lot to do with wanting Brian to think well of him, but it had felt so good, so right, that even now, knowing the consequences he'd have to face, he knows he would make the same decisions. Well, except for jerking off that asshole Hobbs. That had not just been stupid, it had been a waste of his talents.
He loses himself for a few minutes in memories of that time. Especially of that first morning. Sex in the shower, and then standing on the bed as Brian had dressed him. He wonders (as he had at the time) if they'd have had sex again if Michael hadn't shown up when he did. He suspects they would have done. Like Brian had said at the time – "Never enough".
It was true then and it still is. Especially in the mornings, or any time when clothes haven't yet made a full appearance. Who wouldn't be tempted by a half naked Brian Kinney?
It's as he's about to put this down as a definite "yes" that he stops to consider. If it applied that first time, does it mean that it's not only long term lovers who have this experience? Does that mean it's a "no"? Or is it a "yes, but"?
Damn! He thinks. Then he decides he's just going to put it as a "yes" and move on.
6. Not because you need to, but just because you can.
You have sex because the other person is there and always willing. You have sex not because you’re craving it or haven’t had it in forever.
Maybe you just had it earlier that day, but you don’t need it.
Sometimes though, you initiate it just because you can, because you know there was a time when you didn’t have someone you could be close to like that whenever you wanted.
You want to cherish what you have now: amazing, mind blowing, sometimes underwhelming, not always satisfying, occasionally messy, incredible, how-did-I-ever-live-without-this-before sex.
You don’t need to have sex, but you can have sex and you want to have sex. And that is the best kind there is.
To his complete surprise, Justin finds himself getting a little emotional at the end of this one.
He supposes it's because it brings back so many memories of all the times when it wasn't like this. Times when he couldn't just reach out for Brian, knowing he would be equally ready to respond.
Times during those first months when he never knew if Brian was going to respond positively to any advance or mock him and take off with some other stud who offered equally easy sex and came with far less baggage.
Times after the bashing when he'd wanted Brian so much, but couldn't bear to be touched so intimately.
Times when, even after they'd reconnected sexually, he'd felt Brian pulling away from him, even as he'd felt more and more desperate for them to be closer than ever.
Times with Ethan when he'd tried to value what he had with this romantic new lover, but sometimes hungered to the point of desperation, for Brian's touch, Brian's kiss, Brian's hot hard demanding cock.
Times when Brian was recovering from cancer, suffering through the effects of the radiation treatments that had lasted even beyond the nausea and exhaustion and had only been cured by Joanie, of all people.
Even during his stupid queen out time in Pittsburgh when he'd left Brian because he didn't think they were going anywhere, (flat out refusing to acknowledge how far they'd already come), he'd longed, yearned, for Brian. For sex with Brian and showers with Brian and lounging lazily around the loft with Brian. Most of all for just being able to reach out and touch Brian, or have Brian reach for him, one hand cupping the back of his neck as he so often did (and does, Justin thinks gratefully) or wrapping around his shoulder, or tangling in his hair or just fucking touching – anyhow, anywhere.
(Justin reflects idly that maybe Brian Kinney's touches – even the not overtly sexual ones - should come with a "strongly addictive" warning.)
Let alone all the times that they'd been physically separated by more than a few minutes' drive; LA, New York, various other cities he's had to visit when Brian hadn't been able to join him or when Brian has been traveling and he'd had to stay behind …
So yeah, he feels emotional. Because there have been too many days and weeks and months when they couldn't have sex like this. And because Brian's been away for two fucking weeks and he still hasn't set a definite date for coming back because those sons of bitches fucking clients in Chicago all think they're God's fucking gift and need their fucking egos stroked by the "Big Boss" and none of the "underlings" will do.
So, yeah, absolutely. When you haven't been starved of your lover's touch for months or weeks or even days or hours; when he's right here and sure, you had sex just an hour or so ago, but he's fucking here, that is very definitely the best kind of sex there is.
Too bad he won't be getting any of it for a while.
He's too exasperated and depressed and just fucking horny by now to even consider sending the kind of email he'd planned to Daphne. Instead he types out quickly:
Intro – hetero bullshit
#1: "Like you've never had sex with Brian before" –Yeah.
#2: "You think you're going to, and then you fall asleep, but you make up for it next day." Yeah, very occasionally, but seriously, Daph, dinner and all that shit to set up a fuck? Could that be any more lame and hetero?
#3: "So fucking hot that you sometimes black out" – Yeah. Regularly. It's Brian fucking Kinney, for Chrissakes.
#4: "Lazily, over a long stretch of time". Duh! Every chance we get.
#5: "Quickly, before work" – And before lunch, and before dinner and any other time we're showering or getting dressed for something. We've actually worn out Brian's "something came up" mantra and have had to start blaming the traffic (like Brian would ever admit to traveling on the subway)
#6: "Because you can", This would be the best one – because he isn't recovering from cancer and I'm not suffering so badly from PTSD that I can't bear to be touched and both of us have got our heads out of our asses so normally we just can, any time we damned well feel like it - except that yet again he's in another fucking city and I'm so fucking horny thinking about all of this that I'm seriously thinking about bailing on this stupid fucking commission and getting the first flight I can to …
But then he hears a key in the lock and Brian's voice as stressed and horny as he feels saying "Where the fuck are you, Sunshine?"
And the email gets abandoned.
Daphne will just have to wait.
Because this is one type of sex that the article left off the list.
#7: Reunion sex.
As Brian grabs him and they start pulling off each other's clothes right there in the hallway, Justin figures lucky number seven might be the best of fucking all.
mander3_swishFROM:
wren_kt7ozTITLE: 7 Kinds of Sex You Have with the Guy You Fuck More Than Once
REQUEST: Fic. fluff/schmoop, angst, canon-compliant, humor, sexy fun times, porn without plot "6 Kinds Of Sex You Have When You're In A Committed Relationship. https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/6-ways-you-bang-when-dating/1028631" - feel free to change it up and have B/J change/make up own list ;) ---tricks and 3rd/4th parties are welcome but not required.
NOTE: Not at all sure this is what you were expecting, since there's not a lot of explicit sex, let alone PWP, but the different "prompts" triggered so many BJ memories, that I just went with the flow.
WARNING: Not really any warnings, although some of it might come as a surprise to anyone who hasn't read, or can't remember my "Joan Kinney: Died 23rd December 2016. RIP" story. All you really need to know that is that Justin has a son named Simon who is around 2 years old at the time of this story. (He donated sperm to a lesbian couple he met in New York. The ladies are a lot more civilized about the arrangement than Mel and Linds and enjoy having both Justin and Brian as part of their family.)
Justin fields the text from Daphne at around 3pm on a day when he's been working since dawn on a commission work for some rich widow who's apparently "incredibly important" because her family have been major donors for half the galleries in New York since the Dutch handed it over to the English however many fucking centuries ago. Okay, so it's winter; which means dawn didn't happen till around eight o'clock. And maybe he had coffee and a bagel first. But he'd been working for hours anyway on an "impressionistic view of how New York changes people". ("Because you're so sensitive and I know you'll capture the spirit of the opportunities that this city presents"). (Translation: I know you'll paint something that represents the opportunities that being patronized by people like me provide to young artists like you.)
He's not in the best of moods, even if the damned painting is going to net him something in the high five figure range. And even if the painting is actually about his real "opportunity of a lifetime", like he'd told Lindsay before he'd left that opportunity behind to come to New York in the first place.
Daphne, however, is at her most bubbly. It comes through even in the text. So you have to check this list out because I think that maybe Dev and I have done just about all of these, so I guess we really are kind of 'long term' now… maybe we could even be called like committed. What do you think? Have you and Brian done all these?
Daphne's been seeing Devron for around four months now, which is definitely a long term committed relationship in her terms. Her previous longest was less than four weeks.
He sighs. He knows that if he ignores the text she'll keep after him till he responds; which means he has to check out the link she's included. At least, he does if he wants to maintain any kind of sanity.
He might as well do it now while he grabs something to eat. Then he can get back to his painting.
https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/6-ways-you-bang-when-dating/1028631
Sex is such a diverse thing; there’s no right way to have it and no one way that everyone is doing it.
It’s different every time you partake, and I think that’s what’s so wonderful about it.
Even when you’re in a relationship, the sex is not the same all the time.
Even if you’re with someone forever, the sex doesn’t stay the same.
It grows and changes along with your relationship and you. It surprises you with something new around every corner.
While there are probably a billion ways to have sex, here are six different ways you have sex when you have the same partner for a long time:
The intro makes him cringe a little. It's so damned hetero. "Different every time you partake". He can imagine Brian's snort of derision if he read that and hears in his head "In and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit".
The 'sex is different every time' mantra doesn't really take into account having multiple non-repeat sex partners. Because, for him at least, that does become more than a little repetitive. The lead up might be different, but after a while an ass is an ass, a cock is a cock; rod A into hole B. Even blow jobs can pretty much be divided into 'talented', 'mediocre' and 'hopeless'. Very few stand out or are even remembered after a while.
He sits down with a warmed over bagel, smothered in cream cheese, a handful grapes, a lemon bar (Brian … or more probably Cynthia, although Brian will happily take the credit … long ago organized to keep him supplied with these and he still enjoys them, especially when he's stressed) and pretty much a whole pot of coffee in the gigantic travel mug that he uses in his studio. Taking a bite of the bagel he looks at the first example on the list.
1. Like you’ve never had sex before.
And of course, at first, you haven’t. Not with this new person, in this new way. There’s a time when it’s so new, it’s pretty much the most incredible thing in the entire world.
It’s not just the first time it happens either; the first few — the first dozen times even — times are awe-inspiring.
For a brief period of time, it’s like this is the first naked body you’ve ever seen and my God, is it glorious.
You discover something new around every curve, in every shadow cast on skin, and nothing has ever been more fulfilling.
That gives him pause for thought. He's only had two relationships that could be considered long term. His first time with Brian was … well, his first time. So that hardly fell into this category.
He tries to remember if it felt like that with Ethan – if sex with Ethan felt like he'd never had sex before - and came to the conclusion that it fell a long way short of that. It was sometimes exciting – at least at the beginning. But that was more a 'forbidden fruit' kind of excitement that faded away pretty quickly after the Babylon party and its sad and sorry aftermath. It definitely wasn't anything like 'awe-inspiring' or 'the most incredible thing in the entire world'.
Of course, part of that was down to the fact that Brian had been pretty much prophetic when he'd told Justin that first time that ''I'll always be there". In its most romantic, forbidden-love moments, sex with Ethan had always been doomed to pale in comparison to the master class he'd received that first night with Brian. There hadn't been a decent fag's chance of voting Trump that he'd ever have found that there was 'nothing more fulfilling' than sex with Ethan; no matter what he'd told himself at the time.
So that's probably a 'no' as far as Daph's question is concerned.
But then a memory chimes in his brain: a voice – was it his or Brian's? - saying "Like the first time".
That night had been something new. Definitely new for him, and, he's always suspected, for Brian too. That night they'd made love, not just fucked. He'd never felt safer or more loved in his life than he had the night Brian drove out fear and pain and despair with the heat of his cock and the warmth of his caring. And, after the long aching months of loneliness and isolation and fearing to be touched, that love-making or fuck or whatever had very definitely felt like 'the most incredible thing in the entire world'.
Scratching his head, Justin wonders if that makes #1 on the list a 'yes' or 'no' for Daphne.
He chews another bite of bagel and goes on to the second item.
2. You plan to, and then you don’t.
Maybe it’s the last night you can spend together for a little while or maybe, it’s the first time in forever.
Regardless, it’s a special night, and so you make it that way.
You go to dinner, you go out, you talk forever, you throw all of your energy into the night and you couldn’t be happier about it.
When you get home, you’re exhausted, and you lie next to each other, contemplating having sex.
Maybe you’re basically in a food coma or maybe you’re so tired you can barely keep your eyes open. Probably both.
You fall asleep draped over each other, fully clothed and happier than you’ve ever been. You wake up the same way.
Not having sex has never felt so good.
On the face of it, this one is kind of hilarious. Saying that he and Brian 'plan' to have sex is a bit like saying the sun 'plans' to rise every day. And the whole 'going out to dinner as a preliminary to fucking' scenario is so irredeemably hetero that he has to restrain his own snort of derisive laughter.
Plus, there haven't been all that many occasions when he and Brian were too tired for sex. Well, there was that one episode way back in the day when he'd fallen asleep while Brian was getting ready to rim him, and he'd never been allowed to live that down, but still …
Okay. There was the time that Brian had flown into London at the last minute to attend the opening of his exhibition at Somerset House and had come to the exhibition straight from the airport. He'd been working God knows how many hours a day for weeks putting together a pitch for Ralph Lauren and Justin had been doing interviews for two days straight right up almost till the gallery opened its doors. They'd both been exhausted, but also incredibly horny so they'd taken the edge off with a quick fuck in the men's room, looking forward to a much more extensive session back at the hotel. But in the end, by the time they'd talked to the last fucking art critic and collected Brian's luggage from the cloak room that had been on the verge of closing, found a taxi and got Brian checked in to the hotel, they'd found the energy to take off their coats, pants and shoes, and then pretty much just collapsed onto the bed.
He remembered waking at some point in the night because Brian had been trying to pull the duvet out from under him. He'd rolled over enough let Brian re-position them under the duvet instead of on top of it and had somehow pulled off his shirt, but then he'd gone straight back to sleep. Given that Brian was still wearing his Lauren shirt the next morning (and bitching, of course, that it was totally ruined and would never be fit to wear again) he guessed Brian had done pretty much the same thing. They'd made up for it very satisfactorily, of course, for most of the next day but he supposes that night fell into the 'plan to and then don't' category.
But it certainly didn't qualify for the 'not having sex has never felt so good' angle. Not having sex when they'd been apart for more than a day or two had just felt like an opportunity missed as far as he'd been concerned. Thinking about it now, he figures it pretty much always does.
Well, except for when the kids have been with them of course.
They hadn't often had Gus for sleepovers when he was small enough to want to get into bed with them, but there had been a couple of times. And now there's Simon, and when he stays with them he's been known to beg his beloved Bi-Bi to let him sleep in their bed. Brian, being the total fucking sucker that he is, falls for it every time. So those times, when instead of finding ways and means for a quiet fuck, they climb into bed either side of the son Justin can still hardly believe he has, maybe reaching across that beloved little body to touch hands, or maybe twisting feet together, but that's all, and yet just lying there, they're both somehow content. Maybe more than content. He suspects that on those nights, more than most, they're both conscious of being happy. Justin supposes that on those nights not having sex really has never felt so good.
So that one's kind of a 'yes' although, since those times don't fall into the whole 'plan a night out followed by sex' pattern that the article presupposes, maybe it's really a 'no'.
Shit! This stuff is confusing. He's going to have to send Daph an email. He's never going to explain any of this in a text.
Bagel finished, he sips his coffee and goes on to # 3.
3. With passion that you’d forgotten.
The sex isn’t always the best thing you’ve ever had. Sometimes it’s just okay. You fall into a rut, having the same kind of sex in the same kind of way.
Then one day, completely by accident, you find the passion again.
You’re doing something silly or something that brings you closer, and suddenly without warning, you start having sex.
Then that suddenness, silliness and closeness jumpstarts the passion and reminds you, “Oh, hey. Here I am.”
You didn’t even realize it was gone; you’d simply forgotten that that level of passion can exist.
It always finds its way back, though. If the relationship is working, something always brings it back.
Okay. He tries to wrap his head around the whole 'having the same kind of sex in the same kind of way' deal.
He supposes that it's kind of true, up to a point. Except that it's more like 'having the same multiple kinds of sex in the same multiple kinds of ways'.
Blow jobs, hand jobs, frotting, Brian topping him, him topping Brian (more often than either one of them think anyone else needs to know about), face to face, doggy style, standing, lying down, bent over whatever piece of furniture happens to be around at the time … sex with them has never been exactly vanilla in the way that the article makes it sound like for hetero couples. But sure, there are times when it's less soul-shattering than others. Times when, even with them, it's more about getting off than about making the fucking earth move or whatever.
But he wouldn't say that there had ever been a point in their seventeen year relationship where either of them had 'forgotten that level of passion can exist'.
The only time, for him, had been when he'd been with Ethan and even then … he'd remembered, all too clearly, about that level of passion. He'd just convinced himself that other things were more important. Which, he reflects as he sips again at his coffee, is probably true, but those things – trust, fidelity, absolute, no holds barred true love – he hadn't found any of those things with Ethan either. He had them now. Had always had them, really, with Brian; even if he hadn't recognized or properly valued them back then. He did now though.
And, lucky son of a bitch that he was, he had all of those and enough fucking passion on a regular basis to light up the Eastern seaboard if anyone could figure out how to harness it.
He's not sure that there's ever been more than a week go by when just a glimpse of Brian – the turn of his head, the long elegant line of his neck, the slight sway of his hips, isn't enough to make his breath hitch. Sometimes, especially when they're apart for longer than a few days (like they are right now because Brian is visiting Kinnetik's satellite office in fucking Chicago and stroking the egos of their mid-West clients who occasionally demand the CEO's personal touch while he's stuck here in New York working on this damned commission) just the sound of Brian's voice is enough to make him feel like his cock is hard enough to drill through concrete.
So, yeah, sure, there are times when, for no particular reason, suddenly the energy just sizzles between them and they have to fuck; right then, right there – or at least as soon as they can find a spot where they won't get arrested for public indecency anyway.
He loves it when that happens. When suddenly Brian will make a grab at him, or he'll snag Brian's belt and they'll manhandle each other into the nearest restroom, or find themselves fucking on the landing outside their bedroom because they just can't wait long enough to make it to the bed.
So that's a definite 'yes'. Well, except for the 'forgotten that level of passion can exist' stuff. It's never long enough between for them to actually forget; so maybe it's a 'no' after all.
Shit! He really needs to get back to that damned painting.
He sends Daph a quick text to tell her that's he's looked at the article, and he'll send her an email later with his thoughts because there's too much for a text.
Then he heads back up to his studio on the top floor of the brownstone they bought last year so they could spend more time in New York to be near Simon and his mommies.
Later, after another few hours in his studio, followed by a quick phone sex session with Brian (probably squeezed in between meetings and taking "yet another demanding prima donna asshole of a client" out to dinner). Justin settles down with take out and a beer to go through the rest of Daph's list.
4. Lazily, over a long stretch of time.
Sometimes, there just isn’t any rush. You’re going to be together all night, all day and neither of you has any desire to be anywhere else.
Fingers linger a little longer. Movements become a little slower. There’s nothing frantic about this.
You know you can have it all for hours, and so you do, with breaks for food and naps and lazy, sleepy talking.
There are some days where you just want to stay in bed all day with the person you’re into, and so you do.
You’ll never regret all of the things you didn’t do that day. It was so worth it.
Well, okay! This one, Justin thinks, is a definite "yes".
There have been many "lost weekends" when they haven't moved out of the bed except to satisfy other physical necessities.
Although, he reflects, not all of them had felt all that 'leisured' at the time. Especially during the period when he'd first moved to New York. Then weekends – whether in his tiny room in a shared apartment or the huge bed in the loft – had felt … desperate, really. Sure, they'd stayed in bed and fucked all day (and most of the night) but it hadn't been because they had all the time they'd wanted, it had been because they'd been desperate to cram every moment together with touch and taste and smell and heat. To overload themselves with the sensations that not all their Skype sessions and graphic emails and middle of the day sex calls could duplicate.
He shakes off those memories. That time is over now. Now they live together in New York, or, during at least some of the summer, in the house that they bought on a lake in upstate PA. He'd paid half of the down payment on that, and all of the repayments since, a fact of which he was inordinately proud, and though it wasn't a mansion, it was big enough for them, Gus, Simon and Simon's moms to share during the summer when the heat and humidity in New York was just too much to handle. Even his Mom and Molly had been added at times and they'd somehow found enough room for everyone.
Of course, sometimes he and Brian have spent a few days there just by themselves, and those days definitely included a lot of lazing around in bed, lingering over each touch, each kiss; taking hours for just one fuck, just like #4 on the list described. So yeah. That one was a definite "yes".
Encouraged, he moved on to the next one.
5. Quickly, before work.
One person is completely dressed and ready, and then, all at once, he or she isn't again.
He or she was headed toward the door, and you kissed and suddenly, you’ve both regressed immensely in the whole getting dressed process.
It might make you late or it might mean you won’t have time for breakfast, but it’s worth it anyway — even if it’s quick. It just felt right.
You can always blame being late on the subway — that’s what public transportation and traffic are there for, after all.
Another definite "yes".
Sometimes they factored in the time they'd need to fuck in the morning, but sometimes their usual shower fuck wasn't enough and they'd be halfway through dressing when suddenly clothes were coming off instead of going on and then, afterwards, they'd need another shower and … well, sometimes they were beyond late. And if Brian would rather cancel the meeting than blame the (*label queen shudder*) subway, he could always blame peak hour traffic.
Of course, it didn't just happen in the mornings, or when they were about to leave for work. They could be getting ready to go clubbing, or to dinner or to lunch with his Mom. It was another example really of how sometimes the sexual energy between them just ignited. Hard to believe at those times they'd been together, more or less, for seventeen years now. Somehow the passion between them burned as hot as ever, and Justin couldn't quite identify the reason why. He knew that it didn't for most couples. He wasn't sure why they were different. Maybe it was just because Brian was still so damned hot. Or maybe it was that, after all they'd been through, they'd learned never to take what they had for granted.
Or maybe it was just because they were both so highly sexed to begin with. One night when everyone had had a few too many drinks Daphne had seen fit to share Justin's "I've seen the face of God and his name is Brian Kinney" reaction to his first night with Brian and Michael had responded with his own reminiscence about how Brian had said the next morning that Justin had almost worn him out.
Brian had denied it of course, but Justin figures it was probably true. He's always known that it was one of the reasons that Brian had kept him around in those early days – because his appetite for sex had rivaled Brian's own. Most of their friends had probably thought it was the only reason. But it wasn't then, and it isn't now. From the beginning, even allowing for Brian's reluctance to become involved in any way with anyone outside his tight little circle of friends, and Justin's inexperience and naïveté, they'd recognized some sort of kinship in the way they thought and the way they interacted with the world.
Both of them had … still have … low tolerance for bullshit, and they don’t suffer fools at all, let alone gladly. Both of them value honesty and personal integrity, even at the expense of making themselves or anyone else uncomfortable. And both of them are prepared to be in your face about who and what they are and if anyone doesn't like it they can go fuck themselves.
That last one had been a bit of a challenge for Justin at first. But meeting Brian and being outed at school in such a dramatic fashion that first morning had forced him to decide whether he was going to go back into his shell or to take on the world. That he'd chosen to stand proud had had a lot to do with wanting Brian to think well of him, but it had felt so good, so right, that even now, knowing the consequences he'd have to face, he knows he would make the same decisions. Well, except for jerking off that asshole Hobbs. That had not just been stupid, it had been a waste of his talents.
He loses himself for a few minutes in memories of that time. Especially of that first morning. Sex in the shower, and then standing on the bed as Brian had dressed him. He wonders (as he had at the time) if they'd have had sex again if Michael hadn't shown up when he did. He suspects they would have done. Like Brian had said at the time – "Never enough".
It was true then and it still is. Especially in the mornings, or any time when clothes haven't yet made a full appearance. Who wouldn't be tempted by a half naked Brian Kinney?
It's as he's about to put this down as a definite "yes" that he stops to consider. If it applied that first time, does it mean that it's not only long term lovers who have this experience? Does that mean it's a "no"? Or is it a "yes, but"?
Damn! He thinks. Then he decides he's just going to put it as a "yes" and move on.
6. Not because you need to, but just because you can.
You have sex because the other person is there and always willing. You have sex not because you’re craving it or haven’t had it in forever.
Maybe you just had it earlier that day, but you don’t need it.
Sometimes though, you initiate it just because you can, because you know there was a time when you didn’t have someone you could be close to like that whenever you wanted.
You want to cherish what you have now: amazing, mind blowing, sometimes underwhelming, not always satisfying, occasionally messy, incredible, how-did-I-ever-live-without-this-before sex.
You don’t need to have sex, but you can have sex and you want to have sex. And that is the best kind there is.
To his complete surprise, Justin finds himself getting a little emotional at the end of this one.
He supposes it's because it brings back so many memories of all the times when it wasn't like this. Times when he couldn't just reach out for Brian, knowing he would be equally ready to respond.
Times during those first months when he never knew if Brian was going to respond positively to any advance or mock him and take off with some other stud who offered equally easy sex and came with far less baggage.
Times after the bashing when he'd wanted Brian so much, but couldn't bear to be touched so intimately.
Times when, even after they'd reconnected sexually, he'd felt Brian pulling away from him, even as he'd felt more and more desperate for them to be closer than ever.
Times with Ethan when he'd tried to value what he had with this romantic new lover, but sometimes hungered to the point of desperation, for Brian's touch, Brian's kiss, Brian's hot hard demanding cock.
Times when Brian was recovering from cancer, suffering through the effects of the radiation treatments that had lasted even beyond the nausea and exhaustion and had only been cured by Joanie, of all people.
Even during his stupid queen out time in Pittsburgh when he'd left Brian because he didn't think they were going anywhere, (flat out refusing to acknowledge how far they'd already come), he'd longed, yearned, for Brian. For sex with Brian and showers with Brian and lounging lazily around the loft with Brian. Most of all for just being able to reach out and touch Brian, or have Brian reach for him, one hand cupping the back of his neck as he so often did (and does, Justin thinks gratefully) or wrapping around his shoulder, or tangling in his hair or just fucking touching – anyhow, anywhere.
(Justin reflects idly that maybe Brian Kinney's touches – even the not overtly sexual ones - should come with a "strongly addictive" warning.)
Let alone all the times that they'd been physically separated by more than a few minutes' drive; LA, New York, various other cities he's had to visit when Brian hadn't been able to join him or when Brian has been traveling and he'd had to stay behind …
So yeah, he feels emotional. Because there have been too many days and weeks and months when they couldn't have sex like this. And because Brian's been away for two fucking weeks and he still hasn't set a definite date for coming back because those sons of bitches fucking clients in Chicago all think they're God's fucking gift and need their fucking egos stroked by the "Big Boss" and none of the "underlings" will do.
So, yeah, absolutely. When you haven't been starved of your lover's touch for months or weeks or even days or hours; when he's right here and sure, you had sex just an hour or so ago, but he's fucking here, that is very definitely the best kind of sex there is.
Too bad he won't be getting any of it for a while.
He's too exasperated and depressed and just fucking horny by now to even consider sending the kind of email he'd planned to Daphne. Instead he types out quickly:
Intro – hetero bullshit
#1: "Like you've never had sex with Brian before" –Yeah.
#2: "You think you're going to, and then you fall asleep, but you make up for it next day." Yeah, very occasionally, but seriously, Daph, dinner and all that shit to set up a fuck? Could that be any more lame and hetero?
#3: "So fucking hot that you sometimes black out" – Yeah. Regularly. It's Brian fucking Kinney, for Chrissakes.
#4: "Lazily, over a long stretch of time". Duh! Every chance we get.
#5: "Quickly, before work" – And before lunch, and before dinner and any other time we're showering or getting dressed for something. We've actually worn out Brian's "something came up" mantra and have had to start blaming the traffic (like Brian would ever admit to traveling on the subway)
#6: "Because you can", This would be the best one – because he isn't recovering from cancer and I'm not suffering so badly from PTSD that I can't bear to be touched and both of us have got our heads out of our asses so normally we just can, any time we damned well feel like it - except that yet again he's in another fucking city and I'm so fucking horny thinking about all of this that I'm seriously thinking about bailing on this stupid fucking commission and getting the first flight I can to …
But then he hears a key in the lock and Brian's voice as stressed and horny as he feels saying "Where the fuck are you, Sunshine?"
And the email gets abandoned.
Daphne will just have to wait.
Because this is one type of sex that the article left off the list.
#7: Reunion sex.
As Brian grabs him and they start pulling off each other's clothes right there in the hallway, Justin figures lucky number seven might be the best of fucking all.
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Date: 2018-01-01 10:52 pm (UTC)