qaf_giftxchnge | Gift #20

hilarycantdraw
FROM: ohbreath/dellaghers(tumblr)
TITLE: "something to cheer you up"
GIFT REQUEST: I'd like a Brian/Justin fic, set at any point in the show or post-series. I really love fics that involve angst or hurt/comfort and have a happy ending. I'm not a huge fan of pwp stories, though. It doesn't have to be holiday themed, but I'm always a sap for christmas or new year fics (bonus points if it's christmas and involves something cute with Gus!). but honestly, I don't have anything specific in mind, I read a ton of fic and I'd be happy with pretty much anything as long as it's not sad.

“Justin. Justin” I was shaking his arm and saying his name, trying to take him away from the nightmare he was having. Suddenly he woke up grounding his teeth, and hit the pillow with the fist.

“Sorry” He had this awful look in the eyes, like he didn’t even know where he was. Like he didn’t even know me. Suddenly he curled up in a fetal position facing the window on the left, and I felt so helpless I thought I was gonna cry. I was afraid to touch him, I was afraid to even say anything.

I thought after six years I’d get used to it. But how can you survive when the person sleeping next to you is living a personal hell and you can’t do anything about it? They happened rarely, but when they did, it would destroy the both of us, because every time memories came crashing us.

He probably knew me better than I knew myself, because he found the capability to turn around and face me. He calmed down and looked at me trying to reassure me. I hated when he did that, I hated when he was trying to comfort me for something bad that happened to him, not me. Justin has always had this habit even if he’s always tried to hide it. I smiled weakly at him and run my hand through his hair. He buried himself in my neck and I caressed his shoulder. I usually tried to keep him awake so he didn’t just go back into the nightmare.

“What was it?” Maybe I could try to let him talk. After all these years our communication skills got better and better. “The old one. I’m okay, it’s been a long time. I forgot the feeling, I’m just a little shaken.” I smiled trying to let him know that I was okay, too. He didn’t need to worry about me. He lift his head and kiss me. “Gus is coming tomorrow morning, try to have some sleep” and I pulled the duvet over him.

The next morning Gus came jumping on the bed. Lindsay had the key so these kind of surprises weren’t unusual. There was light all over the bedroom, so it was probably late. I opened my eyes and took Gus in my arms. He started laughing and Justin smiled a little, his eyes still closed. There are times like this when I wonder how did I get here. “Come on daddy, get up get up get up, we have SO many things to do and I’m hungry” He was a marvel, this radiant energy all around him. Everyone gets affected by it. So I got up, I took his hand and we went to the kitchen to make something for breakfast. “It’s Christmas tomorrow daddy, did you know?” I couldn’t believe how excited he was, but hey, that’s what kids do on major holidays. I told him we had a lot of presents to open the next morning, and he tried to hide his happiness. He was probably screaming inside.

“Do you think we could bring Jus breakfast in bed? Please daddy that would cheer him a little, he doesn’t look the usual Jus today” My smile suddenly faded and I thought damn, my kid is smart. Justin doesn’t show easily his weakness so I started to get worried, because if Gus was able to notice, that meant something really was wrong. “Sure sonny boy, we’ll bring him breakfast”

We made french toast and pancakes and Gus insisted we’d put flowers and a heart made of cream on the pancake. I just smiled and nodded, but the fact that my son was working hard to make Justin happy, made my heart beat faster. We brought the plate to bed, Justin was sitting with his back on the wall, playing with his fingers. I got closer and kissed his forehead, then I looked at Gus. He took it as a sign and brought the plate to Justin, who smiled. “Oh my god Gus, this is wonderful, thank you. It’s a really nice thought”

They hugged and I felt something in my stomach. Something I tried to push away immediatly because I will not fucking cry on Christmas Eve. We ate and Justin got up with us and helped us clean up the kitchen. They kept laughing all the time, and I mean ALL the time. I just stood there and watched them. I swear to god sometimes Justin is worst than a seven years old, but I smiled anyway, because I think that’s what happiness looks like. And yeah, I know it took me a long time to get there, but I finally did it, too, and seeing them reminds me every day how hard it was, but how lucky I am. Ok I’m getting to sappy, better stop here.