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qaf_giftxchnge2011-12-30 10:58 am
happier-bunny.livejournal.com) wrote in qaf_giftxchnge2011-12-30 10:58 am
Entry tags:
Gift # 15 of 42
To: netlagd
From:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
frusciantechick aka
Title: Some Kind of Enchanted Evening
Gift Request: Brian and Justin somehow meet David Sedaris. Perhaps a short piece in David Sedaris style talking about Brian and Justin. NOT a threesome with David Sedaris.
Beta:moonbrightnites, and alicat. Moonbrightnites did such an excellent job with her reviews and comments. This story wouldn’t even be a fraction of what it is if it wasn’t for her help and patience with this newbie writer. Also, thanks to alicat for her initial review that started this whole process off.
Timeline: Early Season 5
Word Count: 1800
Warning: None
Disclaimer: Brian/Justin and QAF are not my property. They are creations of COWLIP and Showtime.
Justin’s eyes were sparkling with excitement. Fuck, I thought I was the only one to bring about that look. I guess not. Apparently, David Sedaris had the magic too.
“Brian, you’ve got to see this guy, he’s just so funny.”
“Since when do you go all fan-girl over a lecturer?”
“Since I started reading his books a little while ago. He’s coming to town next week to do a show.”
“So, I guess I will be attending the show too?”
“Duh.”
“More like … dull.”
“No, I promise, you’ll like this guy. He’s really funny. Just give it a shot.”
“Maybe he’ll be funny if I take a shot or two before the show.”
“Freak.”
* * * * *
The show didn’t put me to sleep. I’ve got to admit, the guy was funny. Who knew a routine about observing people at the airport could be so entertaining. Not to mention what happens to flight attendants insides during flights. The result is a buildup of gas that needs to be let out via ‘crop dusting’. Duly noted. And, the part where you shit in your …
“Brian, I want to get my books signed, but I have to use the restroom first. Why don’t you go stand in line and I’ll meet you there.”
I have no intention of standing in line alone, like a pathetic fan. If Justin wants his goddamn books signed, we can just get in line together when he’s done taking a leak. Unfortunately, I didn’t bother sharing that plan with Justin, and when he returns, he’s pissed.
“What are you doing!? I told you to go stand in line for me. Now we’re stuck in the back and he may stop signing before he gets to us.”
“Calm the fuck down, Nervous Nelly, and let’s just get in line.”
To be honest, I didn’t think that many people would be in line to have books signed by Sedaris. He’s not a fucking rock star.
“Brian, I can’t believe how many people are ahead of us! I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting my books signed.”
“Hey, Snowball, look who’s headed your way.”
A small group, including Sedaris, is heading our way. Apparently Justin’s anxious face and antsy body language stands out against the rest of the calm, cool, and collected people in line and have drawn the attention of Sedaris.
“Hi,” Sedaris greets us. “Why don’t you come with me to the front of the line and I’ll sign your book. I usually pull some sad soul from the depths of purgatory and make their evening all the more spectacular by doing this. Follow me, son.”
“Justin…”
He’s already trailing away with the guy and his entourage without even a glance back to see if I was following him. How soon they forget…
“Oh, this is soooooo great!” Justin was trying to keep up with Sedaris by alternately skipping and speed walking while periodically reaching out to touch his shoulder or elbow to get his attention.
“Uh-huh.” Sedaris mumbles to Justin as they make their way through the crowd.
“I can’t believe this. Thank you so much!”
“Tell me: What is your name, young man?”
“Justin.” He blushes a pretty shade of pink.
“And who is this handsome fellow with you?” He gives me a lazy glance. Fucker.
“Oh, this is Brian, my boyfriend.” We’ve passed about a hundred people, but it’s all a blur trying to keep up with them. The place is packed with more fans than I realized.
Sedaris takes a seat behind the table and opens the book that is already in front of him
To: Bernard…
“Those aren’t my books.”
“Well, whose books are they?” He looks at Justin with a quizzical, perturbed stare.
“I don’t know.” Justin looks at the none-too-happy man standing at the very front of the line. “His?” He shrugs his shoulders and gives ‘Bernard’ a shy and slightly guilty grin.
Justin hands over his books.
To: Justin,
Plucked from the depths of purgatory.
DS
“Oh, thank you so much. This is just so awesome!”
Oh, shit. Justin has his hand over his mouth and his eyes are wide with disbelief as he stares at Sedaris.
He stares at Justin for a long moment before replying, “You owe me a dollar.”
“I can’t believe I just said that.”
Evidently, my star-struck partner completely forgot the very last part of the show stating that THE SIGNING TABLE WILL BE AN ‘AWESOME’ FREE ZONE. Sedaris was absolutely right when he said that Americans use that word too much. Case in point: The adorable blond standing at the table looking like a deer in the headlights.
Wouldn’t you know, Justin had not a single dollar bill in his wallet, only tens and twenties and I only carry cards.
“Do you have change for a ten?” he asks the not-especially-friendly man to his right.
“No, I don’t.”
“Here, let me see if I can help you out.” Sedaris removes his wallet (baby blue leather embossed with anchors – no shit). Unfortunately, he only has four singles. He’s forced to ask his assistant for a loan and she immediately produces a five. Justin hands over his ten and Sedaris gives Justin his change.
Sedaris signs Justin’s other book:
To: Justin,
Fined a dollar
DS
Justin is not chancing another incident and as we step away from the table, saying nothing more than a simple “thanks.” He then drifts off into the night. Me, I just walk
* * * * *
The music is thumping and I’m in the mood for some action. I’m also hopeful that hitting Babylon after the show might bring Justin back down to earth. He has so much energy after his encounter with the “star” that he’s positively bouncing around on the dance floor. I danced with him for a couple of songs before heading to the bar for a much-needed drink.
“One Fuzzy Nipple, please.” says the man standing beside me. Well, that’s an odd drink order in a gay nightclub so I turn to see what type of man this order was coming from. What the fuck… This can’t be… Oh, yes, it is.
“Why, Mr. Sedaris, what brings you to my fine establishment?”
“Err, Brian, isn’t it?” He smiles at me with a big gap-toothed grin. He has a little sheen of sweat across his brow so he must have just come from the dance floor himself. His paisley top, open at the throat, brown polyester bell-bottoms, and wide leather belt are a seventies flash back.
“I’m surprised you remember my name, after all the people you met tonight.”
“Oh, I remember you and Justin. How could I forget the first dollar I made off the night?”
“Yeah, well, he was so fucking high from meeting you that I had to bring him here to burn off a little energy. He’s out there dancing right now, but once he finds out you’re here, we might be here all goddamn night.”
“Watch my drink, why don’t you, and I’ll give him a night he won’t forget…” Hey, that’s my line! The man is not a looker, but he sure has a set of balls on him.
As he gets closer to Justin, he starts moving to the beat of the music, hips swaying and his fingers are snapping in the air. I start a silent countdown until Justin notices him… three, two, one. A scream I can’t hear rips from Justin’s mouth and his eyes pop open wide. Sedaris moves in front of him without missing a beat. I have to admit that the man can move. After three or four songs, they head back in my direction and grab a couple of bottles of water. Both are dripping with sweat and Sedaris’s hair is plastered to his forehead.
“Can you believe this is fucking happening?” Justin is one tightly wound twink at the moment. Yep, we will be here all night. Or… maybe…
“Mr. Sedaris – ”
“Call me David.”
“David, why don’t we go to the VIP Lounge to cool the fuck down.”
* * * * *
The VIP Lounge is definitely a better place to take it down a notch or two so I can get Justin’s focus on more important things once we return to the loft. Plus, Justin gets some up-close and personal time with his comedic wet dream. God knows he won’t be giving me his all with Sedaris on the brain. And, I want it all.
Apparently life on the road can get monotonous, going from city to city, and David just happened to be in the mood to dance tonight. Justin is one lucky little fucker. The plan is working so far. A plush sofa, drinks on the house (of course), and getting a chance to chat with a ‘star’. Listening to them talk is somewhat soothing until the topic turns to ‘relationship’ shit.
“How long have you two been together?”
We answer at the same time:
“Four weeks.”
“Four years.”
“It’s complicated.”
David arches a brow. “I gather. Nothing is more challenging than living with someone for four weeks or four years. Who knows where to draw the line between casual dating and casual co-habitation.”
Silence.
“Take Hugh and I for instance; we’ve been together for so long now that we finish each others sentences. It’s great.”
Justin is giving me a shit-eating grin.
“It’s economical too. I only have to talk in half-sentences. It’s an art form really. Like a beautiful dance. Oh, and our conversational skills… Magnifiques! We waltz through shopping lists and flamenco when we fight. Whew, I really lose my castanets during our heartier rows.”
“I know what you mean. Brian and I have had some award-winning fights ourselves.”
“I have five Grammy’s, one Oscar, and two Golden Globes for my performances. But, let me tell you… we could qualify for the Academy Awards with the make-up sex that we have later.”
Okay, that is a mental picture I could have done without. Older, thin-haired, gap-toothed, elfish man sex is not something I want to imagine at the moment. Time to wrap this up.
“David, it’s been a pleasure to meet you tonight, but I don’t want to keep you.” I stand up and escort him to the door.
“Yeah! This has been the best… one of the best nights of my life.” Lucky for him, Justin manages to catch himself just in time.
“Fellas, it has been a delight to meet you both and my evening here has just been awesome.” David turns and walks out the door.
Justin and I look at each other in opened-mouth silence.
“Well, I could have gotten your dollar back.” I finally say.
Justin is rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off.
The End
From:
frusciantechick aka Title: Some Kind of Enchanted Evening
Gift Request: Brian and Justin somehow meet David Sedaris. Perhaps a short piece in David Sedaris style talking about Brian and Justin. NOT a threesome with David Sedaris.
Beta:
moonbrightnites, and alicat. Moonbrightnites did such an excellent job with her reviews and comments. This story wouldn’t even be a fraction of what it is if it wasn’t for her help and patience with this newbie writer. Also, thanks to alicat for her initial review that started this whole process off. Timeline: Early Season 5
Word Count: 1800
Warning: None
Disclaimer: Brian/Justin and QAF are not my property. They are creations of COWLIP and Showtime.
Justin’s eyes were sparkling with excitement. Fuck, I thought I was the only one to bring about that look. I guess not. Apparently, David Sedaris had the magic too.
“Brian, you’ve got to see this guy, he’s just so funny.”
“Since when do you go all fan-girl over a lecturer?”
“Since I started reading his books a little while ago. He’s coming to town next week to do a show.”
“So, I guess I will be attending the show too?”
“Duh.”
“More like … dull.”
“No, I promise, you’ll like this guy. He’s really funny. Just give it a shot.”
“Maybe he’ll be funny if I take a shot or two before the show.”
“Freak.”
* * * * *
The show didn’t put me to sleep. I’ve got to admit, the guy was funny. Who knew a routine about observing people at the airport could be so entertaining. Not to mention what happens to flight attendants insides during flights. The result is a buildup of gas that needs to be let out via ‘crop dusting’. Duly noted. And, the part where you shit in your …
“Brian, I want to get my books signed, but I have to use the restroom first. Why don’t you go stand in line and I’ll meet you there.”
I have no intention of standing in line alone, like a pathetic fan. If Justin wants his goddamn books signed, we can just get in line together when he’s done taking a leak. Unfortunately, I didn’t bother sharing that plan with Justin, and when he returns, he’s pissed.
“What are you doing!? I told you to go stand in line for me. Now we’re stuck in the back and he may stop signing before he gets to us.”
“Calm the fuck down, Nervous Nelly, and let’s just get in line.”
To be honest, I didn’t think that many people would be in line to have books signed by Sedaris. He’s not a fucking rock star.
“Brian, I can’t believe how many people are ahead of us! I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting my books signed.”
“Hey, Snowball, look who’s headed your way.”
A small group, including Sedaris, is heading our way. Apparently Justin’s anxious face and antsy body language stands out against the rest of the calm, cool, and collected people in line and have drawn the attention of Sedaris.
“Hi,” Sedaris greets us. “Why don’t you come with me to the front of the line and I’ll sign your book. I usually pull some sad soul from the depths of purgatory and make their evening all the more spectacular by doing this. Follow me, son.”
“Justin…”
He’s already trailing away with the guy and his entourage without even a glance back to see if I was following him. How soon they forget…
“Oh, this is soooooo great!” Justin was trying to keep up with Sedaris by alternately skipping and speed walking while periodically reaching out to touch his shoulder or elbow to get his attention.
“Uh-huh.” Sedaris mumbles to Justin as they make their way through the crowd.
“I can’t believe this. Thank you so much!”
“Tell me: What is your name, young man?”
“Justin.” He blushes a pretty shade of pink.
“And who is this handsome fellow with you?” He gives me a lazy glance. Fucker.
“Oh, this is Brian, my boyfriend.” We’ve passed about a hundred people, but it’s all a blur trying to keep up with them. The place is packed with more fans than I realized.
Sedaris takes a seat behind the table and opens the book that is already in front of him
To: Bernard…
“Those aren’t my books.”
“Well, whose books are they?” He looks at Justin with a quizzical, perturbed stare.
“I don’t know.” Justin looks at the none-too-happy man standing at the very front of the line. “His?” He shrugs his shoulders and gives ‘Bernard’ a shy and slightly guilty grin.
Justin hands over his books.
To: Justin,
Plucked from the depths of purgatory.
DS
“Oh, thank you so much. This is just so awesome!”
Oh, shit. Justin has his hand over his mouth and his eyes are wide with disbelief as he stares at Sedaris.
He stares at Justin for a long moment before replying, “You owe me a dollar.”
“I can’t believe I just said that.”
Evidently, my star-struck partner completely forgot the very last part of the show stating that THE SIGNING TABLE WILL BE AN ‘AWESOME’ FREE ZONE. Sedaris was absolutely right when he said that Americans use that word too much. Case in point: The adorable blond standing at the table looking like a deer in the headlights.
Wouldn’t you know, Justin had not a single dollar bill in his wallet, only tens and twenties and I only carry cards.
“Do you have change for a ten?” he asks the not-especially-friendly man to his right.
“No, I don’t.”
“Here, let me see if I can help you out.” Sedaris removes his wallet (baby blue leather embossed with anchors – no shit). Unfortunately, he only has four singles. He’s forced to ask his assistant for a loan and she immediately produces a five. Justin hands over his ten and Sedaris gives Justin his change.
Sedaris signs Justin’s other book:
To: Justin,
Fined a dollar
DS
Justin is not chancing another incident and as we step away from the table, saying nothing more than a simple “thanks.” He then drifts off into the night. Me, I just walk
* * * * *
The music is thumping and I’m in the mood for some action. I’m also hopeful that hitting Babylon after the show might bring Justin back down to earth. He has so much energy after his encounter with the “star” that he’s positively bouncing around on the dance floor. I danced with him for a couple of songs before heading to the bar for a much-needed drink.
“One Fuzzy Nipple, please.” says the man standing beside me. Well, that’s an odd drink order in a gay nightclub so I turn to see what type of man this order was coming from. What the fuck… This can’t be… Oh, yes, it is.
“Why, Mr. Sedaris, what brings you to my fine establishment?”
“Err, Brian, isn’t it?” He smiles at me with a big gap-toothed grin. He has a little sheen of sweat across his brow so he must have just come from the dance floor himself. His paisley top, open at the throat, brown polyester bell-bottoms, and wide leather belt are a seventies flash back.
“I’m surprised you remember my name, after all the people you met tonight.”
“Oh, I remember you and Justin. How could I forget the first dollar I made off the night?”
“Yeah, well, he was so fucking high from meeting you that I had to bring him here to burn off a little energy. He’s out there dancing right now, but once he finds out you’re here, we might be here all goddamn night.”
“Watch my drink, why don’t you, and I’ll give him a night he won’t forget…” Hey, that’s my line! The man is not a looker, but he sure has a set of balls on him.
As he gets closer to Justin, he starts moving to the beat of the music, hips swaying and his fingers are snapping in the air. I start a silent countdown until Justin notices him… three, two, one. A scream I can’t hear rips from Justin’s mouth and his eyes pop open wide. Sedaris moves in front of him without missing a beat. I have to admit that the man can move. After three or four songs, they head back in my direction and grab a couple of bottles of water. Both are dripping with sweat and Sedaris’s hair is plastered to his forehead.
“Can you believe this is fucking happening?” Justin is one tightly wound twink at the moment. Yep, we will be here all night. Or… maybe…
“Mr. Sedaris – ”
“Call me David.”
“David, why don’t we go to the VIP Lounge to cool the fuck down.”
* * * * *
The VIP Lounge is definitely a better place to take it down a notch or two so I can get Justin’s focus on more important things once we return to the loft. Plus, Justin gets some up-close and personal time with his comedic wet dream. God knows he won’t be giving me his all with Sedaris on the brain. And, I want it all.
Apparently life on the road can get monotonous, going from city to city, and David just happened to be in the mood to dance tonight. Justin is one lucky little fucker. The plan is working so far. A plush sofa, drinks on the house (of course), and getting a chance to chat with a ‘star’. Listening to them talk is somewhat soothing until the topic turns to ‘relationship’ shit.
“How long have you two been together?”
We answer at the same time:
“Four weeks.”
“Four years.”
“It’s complicated.”
David arches a brow. “I gather. Nothing is more challenging than living with someone for four weeks or four years. Who knows where to draw the line between casual dating and casual co-habitation.”
Silence.
“Take Hugh and I for instance; we’ve been together for so long now that we finish each others sentences. It’s great.”
Justin is giving me a shit-eating grin.
“It’s economical too. I only have to talk in half-sentences. It’s an art form really. Like a beautiful dance. Oh, and our conversational skills… Magnifiques! We waltz through shopping lists and flamenco when we fight. Whew, I really lose my castanets during our heartier rows.”
“I know what you mean. Brian and I have had some award-winning fights ourselves.”
“I have five Grammy’s, one Oscar, and two Golden Globes for my performances. But, let me tell you… we could qualify for the Academy Awards with the make-up sex that we have later.”
Okay, that is a mental picture I could have done without. Older, thin-haired, gap-toothed, elfish man sex is not something I want to imagine at the moment. Time to wrap this up.
“David, it’s been a pleasure to meet you tonight, but I don’t want to keep you.” I stand up and escort him to the door.
“Yeah! This has been the best… one of the best nights of my life.” Lucky for him, Justin manages to catch himself just in time.
“Fellas, it has been a delight to meet you both and my evening here has just been awesome.” David turns and walks out the door.
Justin and I look at each other in opened-mouth silence.
“Well, I could have gotten your dollar back.” I finally say.
Justin is rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off.
The End
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Thank you so much for the
awesomegreat effort!no subject
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I was happy to help you, that was a lot of fun.
♥
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I absolutely loved having you as my beta and I am glad you had fun with this story.
Luv
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It's fun seeing Justin as a star-struck fanboy! and Brian just a little jealous. :)
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Thank you - Lindsay